How to be the best out of, “best friends”

In my own experiences, it took me fifteen years to finally meet my true best friend. I genuinely wonder what my life would be like right now if, in my freshman year, I had never sat next to Keely Vincent in Journalism class. Through our friendship, I feel like her and I made the most out of being the best of friends, despite us knowing each other for only a few months; to have someone to relate to you, struggle though homework with, to experience and help you through your ups and downs, and to take care of each other is a feeling that I feel like no one can really explain.

I didn’t really see the whole point of the thing, having a “best friend” because having so many friends and choosing one seemed unfair to me if I loved them all equally. And trust me, I do love them all, but my best friend really understands me on a different level. And that’s what keeps our bond strong as well, not just having classes together and having the same friend group, but also having clear communication between her and I.  And that’s what I feel like having a best friend is all about. Your best friend is supposed to be someone you tell absolutely everything to. It doesn’t matter if your best friend is your parent, sibling, partner, or a different gender than you. All the similarities with best friends is what creates a connection but the differences are what create a stronger bond: you challenge each other’s perspectives in life to keep an open mind while enjoying shared opinions and thoughts. It helps keep someone stable.

The beginning of friendship:

The beginning of a friendship is the story that you will tell others when asked how you two met. When two complete strangers find that they are laughing at the same joke, or when your favorite song comes on and someone else is singing along, these are the moments when you hear that soft clicking sound in the back of both of your heads.

Through interviews with Cavelero Mid High students, we asked how they met their best friends. Almost everyone stated that they met their best friend through a class that they were both in during school. Whether it be the same class or same interests, you find at least one thing that you have in common, just going up to someone and talking to them about something that you both like or even hate that connection is made and if you keep kindling that fire it will blossom into a more closer friendship, The best way to do this? Just by starting a conversation with someone in the same class as you.

Toxic friendships:

If they tease or insult you regularly, they are always the victim in many situations, peer pressure you into things you don’t wanna do, disrespect your boundaries and keep lying or covering for them; signs are they are a toxic friend. It’s really important to search for more signs in identifying a toxic friend, because friendships like these can make you feel worse physically, emotionally, or mentally, and can literally get you in trouble. For example, peer pressure at a party to do illegal drugs just to be cool in front of a friend can get you in trouble with the law. But just not that, drama is an essential part of the word trouble itself. If you are involved with someone who enjoys negative drama way too much, then it’s really likely many rumors will be spread about you if you guys break up in a bad way, and that can lead to emotional distress for you. Talk out your problems and feelings to them first, as communication is a bare minimum that many relationships and friendships lack. If something is clearly a red flag in your relationship they mention and you can’t deal with then it’s best to just spend time away from each other and take time to yourself if you guys think your connection is a spark that’s fading but can be lit again. It’s not best to ghost someone as that can hurt them, but to rather just do less things with them so it’s not a hurtful big blow of a burn, but rather a whisper.

Advice on friendship:

The so-called “key” to a good friendship is different for everyone but for most it’s communication and humor. Like all relationships, friendships need to have good communication and an understanding of one another. I believe that one of our teachers at Cavelero, Mr. Fraser,  best explains this: “In many ways, friendships are like romantic relationships. There needs to be that common attraction there. That attraction may be similar interests or similar senses of humor, but something needs to draw you together first.” He then goes on about how other relationships having things in common is a big green flag when it comes to a best friend. So if you’re looking for a good long lasting friendship, make sure to have good communication, similar senses of humor, and connected interests.

In conclusion, friendships are hard, challenging, complicated and take a lot of effort. But with communication and kindness, being best friends with someone and making tons of fun and heartfelt memories is worth every single minor inconvenience throughout your friendship. Because at the end of the day, finding someone who just gets you, who is always there for you, and who always can make you laugh even at your lowest points, is the most fulfilling experience.